How To Plan on Not Being Disappointed This Summer
Have you ever experienced summer disappointment?
I frequently talk to moms who are in the middle of raising kids. At the end of the summer, they often share with me a long list of the things they thought they were going to get done, but didn’t.
As is often the case with mothers, they lament the summer that just passed, feeling guilty and disappointed.
I get that! Because I remember many summers that went by in the blink of an eye. And I felt badly that I hadn’t accomplished many if any of my goals. And I also didn’t spend as much time relaxing with my kids because I was stressing about what I didn’t get done.
These goals can be as simple and personal as reading a predetermined number of books, making sure you get to the beach x number of times, or cutting back on social media since you want to be present for the kids.
Your goals might be more challenging, like “I’m going to work every day on my memoir.” “I’m going to put together my eCourse.” Or “I’m going to get more serious about a new job search.”
No matter what your goals are, they have to be looked at in the context of the summer reality.
And that reality often includes:
Kids are home more – This is the norm for most of us in the summer. For some reason, we really seem to forget that when our kids are home, there are more demands on our time, less structure, and more of a pull to engage in their lives.
Summer breathes some much-needed fun into the air – And especially after this past year, who couldn’t use a little more fun? There are wonderful temptations like a walk to the local ice cream place, a spontaneous day trip to the zoo, hanging out in the backyard and relaxing way past dark catching fireflies.
The day light is longer – Your kids’ bedtimes may be a little later than during the school year. Dinnertime may be a little more fluid. You might enjoy a little family bike ride or walk in the evening.
There is nothing wrong with this reality…unless you ignore it. If you do, you’ll end up frustrated by the fact that just because summer feels more carefree and foot loose, doesn’t mean you get more time to do the things you might like to do that are your things.
So rather than set yourself up for a frustrating summer that has you constantly wishing you had “more time” to do that thing you want to do, how about figuring out how to manage your expectations?
Put together the family calendar – A family calendar is useful for order, but it’s also a key element in seeing what you’ve got planned for the summer in black and white (or in living color if each of your family members have been assigned a calendar color). It’s likely you’ll see plenty of activities, events, obligations on the calendar that will give you a more realistic view of the actual time you have to schedule your projects and goals.
Pick one thing – What is the one thing you’d really like to check off as accomplished on your To-Do list? You can list 10 things. But pick just one. And go after that one thing with a plan. How much time can you realistically put into this project? And by the way, anything you choose does count. I think about how hard it was to read a book when I had a houseful of kids. Reading for a half-hour each day can be your goal. So can writing an article and submitting it for publication. You get to choose. But just one thing. If you finish that, you can return to your list and pick another.
Determine dedicated time – When the kids are around and “have nothing to do,” you’ll likely be called on to solve this dilemma, especially if you are trying to get something of your own done. Schedule your time to (fill in the blank with something that’s important to you) and let the kids know. You will not feed them, entertain them, or talk to them during this hour. But when you’re done, you’ll do all that. Don’t waver mama! This will be hard, you’ll be manipulated and cajoled. Stand firm! You are training your kids to be independent and respect your time. Have lots of activities in a big toy bin ready for the kids to do while you’re busy – workbooks (fun ones), coloring books, a stack of books to read, play-doh, legos, etch-a-sketch, erector sets…screen time.
Go with the flow – This doesn’t require you to be completely loosey-goosey. But summertime is a time to regroup, relax a bit, have some fun. What’s comfortable or doable for you? How can you work with the flow of this season instead of working against it? How can you let go of all those things you probably could do if the kids weren’t around? Embrace this season. You will never regret spending too much time with your kids. As we know the days are long but the years (and in this case the summer seasons) are short.
Here’s to a summer that leaves you feeling refreshed and a little more chill after a very long and strange pandemic year.