Episode 27 - Why You Need to Say No to Experience More Peace - Unshakable Peace in an Unsteady World Part 2

Hello mama who just might feel like you're overwhelmed with all the things on your to do list. 

I've just recently written a devotional book Unshakable Peace in an Unsteady World with three co-authors, Michelle Wilbert, Jodi Kinasewitz, and Jess Carey. 

I’m sharing with you one of my devotional stories about finding peace that as a mom, I think you're really going to relate to. Each devotional includes a Scripture, story, reflection questions, prayer, along with journaling and coloring pages. 

In the next few weeks, I’ll be bringing my co-authors on MomVision to share their stories too. I hope they bring you a sense of peace, that you're not alone, and help you know where you can go for peace. 

The story I’m sharing today is called When Your No Leads to Peace. 

Psalm 139:13-14
For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.

I was scurrying...running from activity to activity. Because of my schedule, I felt nearly breathless and a little hysterical much of the time. I brushed it off as “just a busy season,” knowing I couldn’t keep up this pace. 

My kids, husband, church, ministry, kids’ teachers, friends needed me. I needed to put my head down, plow through, and just keep going...I didn’t really feel present no matter where I was.

I couldn’t say no...could I? I mean this was all good stuff. I was showing up where I was needed, fulfilling my commitments. I was trying to be a good friend, be there for my kids and husband, and have some fun too. 

“I’m too busy. I’m doing so much. I’m frazzled most of the time. But I’m doing good things. What can I possibly not do? I just don’t see a way out.”

And she said, “Well, the good robs from the best.” (She was loosely quoting Oswald Chambers, who said, “The good is always the enemy of the best.”)

Huh? What did that mean?

As we discussed, I understood. If you’re a people-pleaser and you’d like to feel valuable, worthy, and approved of, you’ll likely say one (or two or three or more) too many yesses.

I said way too many yesses, and they were robbing me of peace and joy. I was drained and depleted. It was time to learn to say no. Was this easy? No! Why? Because I had an underlying, unidentified problem. I was desperate to feel valuable.

Deep down in the core of my being, I believed I had to earn love and approval by “doing.” I didn’t believe I was of value just because I existed...just because I was fearfully and wonderfully made by our good God, the creator Himself, though this is what He says. We are human beings...not human doings!

Old habits ingrained in unhealthy beliefs die hard. It took me a long time – many cycles of overcommitting before I learned to say no. 

Now, when I am asked to do something new, commit to a project, invited somewhere, I am in the habit of saying, “I’ll get back to you.” I must consider this one yes in the context of all my other yesses. I now often say, “No.” I am much more peaceful place than ever before. And guess what? I am still loved!

Reflection Questions:
1. Do you say yes to too many commitments and end up feeling depleted?
2. If you struggle with believing you are fearfully and wonderfully made, why do you think that is?
3. What is at the root of saying yes too much...and lacking peace?
4. What is a no you need to consider?