Episode 29 - Disarming Discontent – Why and How to Diffuse Mom Anger - Unshakable Peace in an Unsteady World – Part 4

Hello mama who just might feel like she's a little sick of not getting help around the house. 

I've written the devotional book called Unshakable Peace in an Unsteady Worldwith three other co-authors. Jess Carey, Michelle Wilbert, and Jodi Kinasewitz. Today, Jess is with me.

Jess Carey is an author. The book we co-wrote together is her second book. The first one is Chart a Course - Taking a Journey with God at the Helm. Jess is a wife of almost 16 years and has two middle schoolers - a 14-year-old and almost 13-year-old. She has a Golden Doodle Pearl and her mother-in- law lives with them - a new event. Jess says she has  all the interesting things you can pile into one home.

One of the things I love about Jess is her clarity. I find it refreshing the way she talks about anger, which you’ll hear more about in our interview. 

Jess chose to share her story Disarming Discontent.  As she puts it, “It's a story about sort of disarming a bomb internally in your own mindset. It's like a stick of dynamite has a long fuse. But boy, when you get to it, there's nothing you can do other than deconstruct the bomb or just let it go off. When we let the bomb go off, that actually stands to do some pretty good damage to our marriages, our kids. I have failed at this enough to know there is an alternative. Moms are going to fail. You are going to blow up sometimes. This is a personal story where it did go a different way. It gave me a little bit of a runway to build up until the next time I had to have this conversation.”

- What it feels like as a working mom with kids capable of pitching in who comes home from a long day and everything is just as you left in the morning - dirty dishes in the sink, 1000 pairs of shoes kicked off haphazardly, clean clothes unfolded in their baskets. 

- You’re tempted to lash out, but you know you have a choice. Jess calls to mind 2 Corinthians 13:11, “Finally, brothers, rejoice, aim for restoration, comfort one another, agree with one another, live in peace.” 

- Rather than blowing up, Jess wept (don’t we blow up at times when we really want to cry?), “I actually was hurt by my family. It felt like they were so uncaring, entitled, even though that clearly wasn't their intention.” She continued, “Hey, you know, I just worked a really long day, I'm tired. You guys are sitting on the couch, playing video games, having leisure time, but I'm not afforded any of that.” 

- Jess chose a sort of confession, transparency. The passage of Scripture came to pass, the God of peace was there, restoration came. My kids agreed to help me,  my husband aligned, and encouraged all of us to work as a team. 

- It was a beautiful example of that Scripture coming to pass and also making that choice, to say I feel overwhelmed. 

- As a family, other members of the family may have a 40-hour work schedule. Mom doesn't,. There's no end date. There's no vacation time. It’s ongoing all the time. “I need more help is essentially what I was telling them. I can't work 24 hours a day. Without assistance. 

Disarming Discontent Reflection Questions

1. Is there someone you need to pursue restoration or peace with?
2. How would your situation change if you were able to freely express yourself calmly?
3. What would restoration with them look like?
4. What do you stand to lose if you don’t reconcile?