A Year of Transformation: 10 Lessons Learned

A Year of Transformation - 10 Lessons Learned in a Year

I didn’t start the year with the intention to change. In fact, I am or at least was a change resistor. I was very comfortable with the life I was living. Was it exactly as I wanted it to be? No. But it was the life I knew and it was good - in some ways very good, and in other ways good enough. I had already made some big personal changes in the couple of years before 2018. I had joined a fitness and nutrition program called MaxFit and was exercising five days a week. This was a first for me.

I had a personal setback during the holidays of 2017. I was in emotional pain and turned to food to numb myself - a default I thought I had overcome. I put on almost 20 pounds in a matter of a couple of months. Meanwhile, though I continued to exercise daily, I was also suffering from hip pain. It had gotten to the point that I needed to do something. So I started physical therapy. It turned out that my insurance also covered acupuncture that was available through my physical therapy studio. When asked if I was interested, I figured why not? I was willing to try anything to ease my pain…even if it meant being stuck with needles.

Between physical therapy and acupuncture - and with the encouragement and gifts of my physical therapist and acupuncturist - I began the road back to health physically and emotionally. It was a road of fits and starts. Sometimes two steps forward and one step back. And as I said, I didn’t determine I would go through a year of transformation, but I was open to it. My acupuncturist was critical in helping me navigate changes that made me uncomfortable. His gentle but persistent way of challenging me led me to open up to new possibilities and let go of some of the baggage of my past. I truly will be forever grateful to him.

Below are just some of the things I learned that were life-changing. Each one of them is a story in itself.

1. Detach with Love: I have discovered joy, real joy that is not dependent on anyone else. And have learned that my happiness cannot be dependent on anyone else.

2. Love Freely: I’ve learned to offer unconditional love instead of needy love. My love for another is not dependent on what they do or don’t do…or how they meet or don’t meet my needs.

3. Embrace Discomfort: Letting go of bodily insecurities. It’s been uncomfortable to give up foods that feel like friends or self-care, but are actually self-sabotage. It’s also been uncomfortable getting used to living in a thinner body.

4. Surrender and Trust: Deep breath and leap of faith. St. Francis had it right - O God, give us the serenity to accept what cannot be changed, the courage to change what can be changed, and the wisdom to know the one from the other.

5. Prioritize Self-Care: I’ve discovered the tremendous value that lies in setting aside time for yourself. I definitely believed self-care was selfish. That’s a lie!!

6. I Am Enough: I wrote this on my bathroom mirror. It remains there because I still need this reminder. It also empowers many guests who come through my home.

7. Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for What You Need: What’s the worst that can happen? I have less need for approval of man and I am less afraid of rejection. Huge for me! And this is a sneaky one by the way…it can still creep up on me.

8. Set Boundaries: Better/less codependence. Saying no is a complete sentence. I can say no and still be loved.

9. Be More Vulnerable: This especially applied to my marriage. We’ve been together 40 years, married for 35. And there is still plenty of room for growth. For example, my husband and I were more open to and about sex after we went to A Weekend to Remember.

10. Being Fit and Healthy Is a Lifestyle: Dieting/eating healthy isn’t punishment. Eating well and whole is delicious, feels great, builds relationship with my husband.

The road to a Life You Love is a never-ending journey. Change is a constant whether we like it or not. What have you learned lately?