Why You Should Throw Away Your To-Do List and Start Making a Got-Done List – Especially During a Pandemic
One of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever received is throw away your To-Do list and start making a Got-Done list.
I was about to have my first child. My birth teacher was a mom of several children. She knew a lot I didn’t know. Through our classes, we learned:
How to give birth naturally (not everyone’s goal, I know, but it was mine!).
How to give birth in the car should we not make it to the birth center on time (this came in handy when I delivered my nephew in the back of a van).
How difficult it could be to actually get anything done once we had this highly anticipated baby.
I’m not sure I really believed my teacher. I was a multi-tasker who was accustomed to getting many things done each day, often several things at a time. Those were the days…
Here’s the thing. My birth teacher was right. Taking care of that baby – this little tiny, adorable, innocent being – took all my energy and time. At the end of the day, I was often frustrated at how little I had accomplished and yet how exhausted I was. Remembering my teacher’s words, I began to take stock of what I had actually done each day. At the top of the list was, “I kept my baby alive and well.”
Now I pass on this wisdom to you – especially to you mom in the middle of raising kids. Especially now, during this pandemic, when you are caring for kids who would normally be going to school, having playdates, running off steam through after-school activities.
Many of you have gone from a civilized (though often a bit stressful and rushed) morning, sending your kids off for about six hours of school each day. During those six hours, you likely got things done on your To-Do list. This may have included lots of home-making activities, several hours of checking off your job responsibilities, gig tasks, a meeting or two, maybe a self-care activity (though too often not), and a little space in your brain to actually think clearly.
Enter COVID. I liken this season to those early days, weeks, and months of having a baby. Everything has changed. Everything is new. There is no established rhythm. There is no precedent. This is a time of new normals. And this is also a season, that I promise you will pass (hold onto that promise when you reach the breaking point).
So what’s a mom in the middle of raising kids, in the middle of COVID to do?
Throw away your To-Do List and make a Got-Done List instead. Here’s how:
1. Go Ahead and Make Your To-Do List – Do a big brain dump. Write down every single thing you’d like to get done in the next week. Acknowledge all those To-Dos. Now throw that list away. (I know those of you who love your lists will not do this, but I dare you anyway!)
2. Choose 3 Non-Negotiables Each Day – What do you care most about? What 3 things must you get done each day? This is your list. You can choose any three things – get dressed, oversee Zoom classes, prepare dinner, get outside, have some God time, connect with a friend, put in work hours, visit with someone in your COVID pod. (If this sounds overwhelming or foreign and you want to know more, check out this Slices of Life podcast episode and this article from my friend and Family Coach Kimberly Amici.)
3. Write Your Got-Done List at the End of Every Day – It is so easy to feel frustrated and disappointed about what we didn’t get done. But in fact, you lived today. You did things today. You got things done. It all matters. And you’re likely to find you got a lot done today. You got the most important things done.
Your Got-Done List might look something like this:
· Got up this morning
· Fed the kids scrambled eggs for breakfast and fed myself too
· Taught 4th grade math to my son
· Had a dance party break right in the middle of science
· Took a shower while the kids did their worksheets
· Ordered pizza and Caesar salad for dinner
· Talked to my spouse for 10 minutes
· Wove my job responsibilities throughout this day
· Went to bed at 10 pm
4. Keep Writing Your Got-Done List – Write it for as long as it takes, until you recognize, “Wow! I get lots of things done every day and they are the most important things.”
I’d love to hear how your Got-Done List goes. Let me know. In the meantime, I’m cheering you on!!