Episode 17- How To Have a Vision for Your Sex Life – Part 1

Hey mama who may not actually be thinking much about sex these days…

Did you know that The Hallmark Channel refers to February as Loveuary? 

That’s because February is also known as the month of love! No huge surprise if you consider what a big holiday Valentine’s Day has become. 

And so I’m joining the crowd this month and celebrating “the month of love” by talking about Love, Romance, and Sex in Marriage. 

Today, I’m going to hone in on Why Accepting, Knowing, and Loving Yourself Is the Place to Start. 

As the month goes on, we will explore What an Intentional Marriage Is, The Power of “I,” and Why If You Want Something, It’s Essential to Ask for It.

You might think your marriage will get better when you - fill in the blank - get healthier and therefore feel more energized and sexy, have more rest so you can think more clearly, or have date nights every two weeks because you finally have time. There’s nothing wrong with having those goals in mind. But don’t wait! 

You can be you just as you are today…and move toward the marriage of your dreams that includes intimate connection. In this case, aka, sex. How? 

1. Accept yourself – And I’d add your circumstances. 

Accepting who you are and where you are today, what small thing can you do to stay connected to your husband? 

Here’s an example, when my husband and I were so busy raising four kids, juggling jobs, and my husband was also going to school, we had a partnership, but I felt terribly disconnected. We committed to spending five minutes talking and being listened to every day. Just that little investment of time really helped! 

2. Know yourself!

It can be really hard to stop and take a moment to think this through. It’s our responsibility to know what we need in our marriage from our spouse. 

For instance, I knew I wanted sexual intimacy to be a bigger part of our marriage. We

agreed to get a little calendar and determined that we would have sex at least once a week. Not so romantic, but it worked! It revved up our sex life…and it was a fun little secret between me and Chris. Eventually, we no longer needed that calendar☺

3. Love yourself! 

I know you’re busy and for some it is really hard to imagine caring for yourself, but it is essential. You can’t pour from an empty cup! The second commandment is “Love your neighbor as yourself.” So we are to love others, including our husbands, as ourselves. How are you doing with loving yourself so you can love others?

Here are some ways you can love yourself

Self-care is one of those things we must find time for, even if it’s just five minutes a day. I’ve got a free download, 28 Ways to Show Love to Yourself, that will give you one simple idea for every day this month. 

Here’s just a sampling of ideas. 

1. Make a list of 5 things you like about yourself.

2. Check your negative thinking. Research says we say negative things to ourselves 80% of the time. True of you?

3. Be kind to you. Once you realize some of the things you’re saying to yourself, stop it!! Not only will you feel better about you, you will feel better about your loved ones too. 

Sex is an expression of love, intimacy, and connection. When you care more for you, you naturally become more able to connect with your spouse. When you feel more connected to your spouse, sex is a natural extension of that connection.